drew a slow, deep breath and walked down the long hallway. Passing
rooms of other dying patients, she
stopped and looked out the window... for anything. Standing
there, staring, she prayed... wordlessly. Her
head knowledge did not help her heart at all. It
kept beating to the rhythm of “why.” She’d
been here before and she knew better than to ask.
laid there, curled, as she searched his
withdrawal for eyes.
he opened them, she
introduced herself as though he was one of the old men she was accustomed to, but
moment she heard her own overly sweet tone escape her lips, she
looked away, wishing she could start over
(reminding her of the myriad of mistakes
she’d made on answering machines before.)
was nothing sweet about this. He
was an old friend and she wasn’t sure if he’d remember. Ayoung, beautiful man in an old, sick, dying
out, she touched his hand. “I
remember you,” he said.
she tamped her vocal chords,
and began again…
didn’t expect to find you here.This is no place for you.
But this is the best place for you.
We will take good
care of you.
I know it
hurts. You'll find
tears welled and fell… and she smiled at him. Knowing
it didn’t matter that her words felt so disjointed. To
be present.To be with. To enter into
another’s suffering. Which
profound word could possibly make a difference? What
prayer would change God’s will, now?
breathing shallow, his speech labored. He
hurt, in so many ways. It
wasn’t about her words. Then he
reached for her hand.
be still. To touch. To hold. To pray. To be
changing anything, something
There's a conversation going on over at Tweetspeak Poetry. It's about a book called Rumor's of Water by L.L. Barkat and chapters 9-13 are about finding your voice as a writer. My friendLyla Lindquist is leading the discussion. I'm about 13 chapters behind my friends. I have the book, but I think I'm the only one who hasn't read it yet. But, I'm with them in spirit. I came home from a rough day at work today and decided I'd join them. I don't really want the voice of death. But, I definitely work in a place of death. I am a sanguine soul, dancing through life creatively. I see comedy in almost everything ... and this hospice work is where God has called me. So far, by his grace and strength, I embrace it.