Wednesday, February 8, 2012

A Fine Line

A fine line it is
between fear and trust
peace and panic…
crossed it many times,
back and forth…
privately

Fear and Trust …
my next door neighbors
whichever way I am facing…
the other one is right behind me
it is a very short continuum…
a fine line

Left to my own devices...
in my foolishness…
I visit fear
and dwell there…
though it has never been a friend…
For we know…
that perfect fear
casts out love…
Your love…
and I most certainly know …
that Your love
has always been my Friend

In my weakened state of trust…
fear is more familiar to me,
more logical
than trust…
which is not natural,
and uncomfortable,
risky…
vulnerable
Trust, it seems,
must be grown…
developed…
chosen…
a muscle,
so to speak,
stretched…
strengthened…
tested,
proven


I must choose…

in Your strength…
to move away from fear
and move in with Trust
permanently
regardless of the neighborhood
of circumstances around me


Lord
in your grace…
strengthen my trust…
distance me from fear…
turn me
again
to face You…
in Trust
where I find peace
in You…
my open Door
to freedom
from …
fear

Patricia Spreng

Written in March of 2010 just prior to my husband’s brain surgery.   We give thanks today for the successful removal of the benign tumor.

Sharing with Jennifer at Getting Down With Jesus

GettingDownWithJesus

12 comments:

  1. Oh. My. Whichever way I am facing. Yes, that thin line between the two.

    Have I told you lately how amazing you are? Wow.

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    1. Thank you Jennifer... your video showed me the preacher in you and it gave me the god bumps all right. = ) Hugs.

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  2. That is amazing!!! Thank you for sharing something from such a time in your life...very deep!!

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  3. Holy crap, Pat - you dealt with BRAIN SURGERY in the middle of losing both your parents and a sibling??? Your life is as wacky as mine, sister. No wonder I love you so much. This is a powerful poem, friend. Thank you for it.

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    1. The other day when Sandy and I met for lunch, I felt so dumb when I had a hard time just trying to relay the chronology of events... (the dates, times and who died first.) Even I sounded funny (odd) to myself. Jennifer's video on fear made me remember where I had been...Thankfully, I am not in the midst of that anymore... but I think I will be processing it forever. Sending you a hug with lots of love in it, Diana.

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  4. This is so much more meaningful to me now that I know more of the neighborhood circumstances at the time. Giving thanks with you. Your words are beautiful, and so are you.

    Ooooooo look! Still Saturday in the sidebar. That makes me all goose bumpy! :D

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    1. Love you Sandy :) I wanted to post with you last Saturday, but I was very far from still... running hither, yon and to all things sports. It was almost laughable! Do you think it would count if our "Still Saturday" moment only lasted for a nano second?

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  5. Sometimes, Pat, I'm not sure I see the line between the two at all. It seems we think we stand straddling, when in fact we live them intertwined. Fear, trust. Peace, panic. I know he says perfect love casts out fear, but I'm just sure I've stood in my fear and panic while fully awash in his love. And I wonder, then, how that works.

    Beautiful stuff here. Like I'd be surprised. ;-)

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    1. Fully awash in his love... no matter what. Love that. I wish I had read this back then. I kept thinking one or the other, one or the other... and feeling quite guilty when the fear waves washed over me. Glad I'm not walking that line anymore. Wonder if I'm any better prepared to walk it, if/when circumstances arise later on. Love you, Lyla.

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  6. Oh yes Patricia. I often wish it wasn't a choice, that somehow it would just be planted in my heart. You've said what my heart feels so beautifully. Thank you - and thank you for your comment. It means more than I can say.

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  7. I just came from Linda's who is also writing on trust. It can be so very difficult at times.

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  8. Simply Beautiful! It is like a muscle, building up, retraining our thought patterns. It was a moment of triumph when I realized that living in fear meant that I didn't trust God, didn't believe He would take care of me - and it liberated me. I think our culture encourages the belief that if we "worry" and "fear" - then we love greatly - and that is a terrible, grave deception.

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