Mercy Notes

 The young one dangles her toes

that barely touch streams of mercy,

singing strains of amazing grace

by heart.

Yet, I hear

deep cello cries rising up,

as mercy notes stir me.

Only they have no name, really.

For what do you call the silence of being captured by a thought,

or the sound of darkness as it disappears,

the weight of sin lifted?

My heartstrings tightened, tuned

‘til dissonant chords resolve

and knees fall down

to sing for you

the song you sang for me.

Patricia Spreng

Joining a bit late with d'Verse Poets for Open Link Night, click on the white link to find the wonderful words of poets.

Trying On Advent - The Second Sunday

Rewind: 

As a child, my family and our church observed the season of Advent. There was definitely a  sense of anticipation in the air and I knew it had something to do with God and Christmas.  But, I spent most of my Advent time preparing the way I imagine most children did… anticipating the arrival of Santa and presents.

Fast forward: 

This year during the second week of Advent, I happen to be in downtown Chicago, IL with two of my sisters.  It is a far cry from a place of quiet preparation.  For four days I have been working with my sister in her business… selling her beautiful, warm, woolen wares alongside 900 other talented artisans who are selling their wares at an exclusive art show held in an enormous convention center.  I have been engulfed in one of the busiest “holiday” selling and buying seasons.  No one here seems to have heard there was an economic downturn.

Pause: 

In his book, Discovering Advent, Mark D. Roberts reminds us that “the main point of Advent is growing into a deeper, truer relationship with God. It’s sharing our yearning and hope with our community of faith. It’s getting in touch with our need for a Savior and our yearning for the kingdom of God. In Advent, by putting ourselves in the place of those who, centuries ago, longed for a Messiah to set them free, we get our hearts ready to be renewed by the good news of Christmas: “Joy to the world, the Lord has come!”
Roberts details how during Advent, (which is Latin for the word coming,) “Our preparation includes many things:

We remember Israel’s hope for the coming of God’s Messiah to save, to forgive, and to restore.  
We remember our hope for the second coming of Jesus.
We remember our need for a Savior to save us from our sins.
We prepare to welcome Christ at Christmas into our world . . . and into our hearts.

Today we focus on the coming of Christ who brings forgiveness from our sins.”

Roberts, Mark D. (2011-11-07). Discovering Advent: How to Experience the Power of Waiting on God at Christmastime (Kindle Location  498-501; 575-583; 586). Patheos. Kindle Edition.

 

 

Retreat:     

It’s no coincidence that the first time I decide to observe Advent in my adult writing life, I have come face to face with Robert’s suggestion to focus on seeking forgiveness during this second  week of Advent.  For me, this is definitely not the easy part of Advent.   Seeking forgiveness is difficult no matter what day it is or church I belong to.  I am truly thankful for how God provides the way for forgiveness. 

 

Here again, I am reminded this week of the lessons I have learned in raising monarch butterflies.  These are a few observations I’ve made and how they relate to forgiveness... 

 
Four or five times through the course of its life, the monarch caterpillar crawls away from its milkweed plant and remains completely still for two to three days.  It does not eat.  It does not move. Then slowly, very slowly, it begins to move forward through the molting process.  In an undulating movement that takes time… it leaves its old skin behind.  It still looks and acts just like a caterpillar.  But, something has taken place inside.   If I truly retreat to be alone with God, I know I come away looking the same… but, hopefully, I am changed inside.  This is spiritual transformation... my trust-formation.  Little by little, God challenges me, changes me.  It is not easy.  It takes work.  Retreating allows me to  look at myself, listen to God, and ask him for his strength and courage to change, to leave behind old habits, behaviors, thoughts and sin. 

This caterpillar has just crawled out of its skin and left the old behind. 

… let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. Hebrews12: 1 NIV

… let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely.   Hebrews 12:1 ESV

After crawling out of the old skin that doesn’t fit any longer, the last step of molting fascinated me the most.  The caterpillar uses one of its front legs to flick off the remaining old skin around its face.  The dead face mask looks somewhat like a tiny catcher’s mask.  I wondered as I grow in Christ, what old or false identities must I remove in order to reflect Christ more?  

For the Lord is the Spirit, and wherever the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.  So all of us who have had that veil removed can see and reflect the glory of the Lord. And the Lord—who is the Spirit—makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image. 

2 Corinthians 3:17-18 NLT

Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners; purify your hearts, for your loyalty is divided between God and the world.  Let there be tears for what you have done. Let there be sorrow and deep grief. Let there be sadness instead of laughter, and gloom instead of joy.  Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up in honor.    James 4:8-10 NLT

Renew

Psalm 130:7-8

O Israel, put your hope in the LORD,
for with the LORD is unfailing love and with him is full redemption.
 He himself will redeem Israel
from all their sins.

Pray

I wait for you Lord.
In this waiting, help me to retreat and reflect…
to shed behaviors  that do not please you.
Forgive my sins.
Help me to live to reflect Your likeness.
Thank you for your cleansing forgiveness, Lord.
Keep redeeming every part of me,
Strengthen me to change…
for I am your Israel.
Come Lord Jesus.


Patricia Spreng

Joining with Charity Singleton at the High Calling Advent Writing Project 

and with Laura at The Wellspring, Playdates With God

"All I Got Was A Rock"

Do you remember the quote ... "All I got was a rock"  from the children's movie  It's The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown ?

Maybe I’ve got rocks in my head. 

Maybe my heart is hard as a rock. 

Maybe I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place.
 

 
All I know for sure is... there I was, wandering on the banks of the Frio River with my camera, when everyone else had chosen to go in a different direction and hike to the beautiful heights of the canyon ridge. 

Actually, I was in the Frio River… in my shoes...in the bottom of the canyon, in Texas of all places.  On my usual quest to capture the perfect monarch photograph, I was quite content to be by myself.  And I found a rock.  A clean, heart-shaped rock.  Initially, I took its picture... thinking of it as a beautiful, odd- God-distraction of sorts. 

After all, I knew I had been in an odd place.  A hard place.  A place of healing from grief and stress that had taken its toll, regardless of how strong I thought I was.  Still, I felt robbed ... and emptied.  Both beloved parents, brother, and sister... buried.  In the course of three years.  And just for good measure,  brain surgery for my precious husband to remove a benign (praise God) tumor in the midst of it all.  Old age, devastating illnesses, death,  surgery, recovery and prayer.  A lot of prayer.  Seemingly unanswered at times, in the affirmative sense on this earth, but answered ... in the spiritual sense. 

Having found great comfort in the process of writing, I found myself coming up for air... in Texas ... at a writers retreat at Laity Lodge... with people I didn't know.  He planned it that way, of course.

Pride had caught me thinking I was in a place of wholeness, maturity, seasoned grace and wisdom ... strength (a nice way of saying I was getting older.)  Really, I was in a place of weakness that I thought I could out-maneuver, out-wrestle, out-wit, out-run.

When I picked up the rock to put it in my pocket as a heart-warming souvenir ... I noticed its back side.  The side that hadn't been showing.  The side I don't show to the world.  This side  was covered in dirt.  It was marred and scarred.  And I noticed an odd little, white patch at the top that didn't seem to belong at all.  I thought about heaving that rock into the river. I didn't want to be reminded of my brokenness.  But,  no... ever the contemplative... I see things.   

I found, as I looked into the mirror of this rock... a place of hardness.  I think perhaps it was really a palace of hardness... a palace where I reign as Queen.

Oh, how I have tried to reign over my own heart.  I have attempted to treat, repair and patch my own brokenness.  My patches do not work... or belong.  Through my own sin, mistakes and pride, I have attempted to know better than God what is best for my heart.  I have done this before.  Once again, I ask Him for forgiveness and abdicate my throne... for my one true Love.  I recuse myself from my own  case of self defense and let him rescue me ... again.  I stood there, staring at the rock in my hand, feeling kind of, well ... silly.  

But I saw something else in that rock ... dare I tell you? ... a faint outline of another, smaller heart trying to emerge... pushing its way out...  do you see it?  I traced the edges of it with my finger...  God's heart, always with me... no, ...  in me.  I think it was so kind of him to gently show me a tangible object lesson, rather than throwing rocks of condemnation at me, the sinner.  I get it.  I have not allowed him to transform all of my heart.  Pushed him down, covered him up, hidden him away inside... thinking I would be in charge of protecting myself.  Oh God,  forgive me  ... "Lord, I do believe.  Help my unbelief."

"Thou in me dwelling and I with Thee one." Be Thou My Vision, Mary E. Byrne

Christ in me, the hope of glory.  Colossians 1:27

Yeah ... "All I got was a rock" from my trip to the canyon.  I wouldn't have it any other way.  A reminder rock that now sits in front of me on my desk.  An abiding reminder.  A reminder that my way doesn't work so well.  He is my solid rock, my foundation in whom I am still learning to trust.  I've learned this more times than I care to admit.  

Joel 2:12-13

“Even now,” declares the LORD,
“return to me with all your heart,
with fasting and weeping and mourning.”

 Rend your heart
and not your garments.
Return to the LORD your God,
for he is gracious and compassionate,
slow to anger and abounding in love,
and he relents from sending calamity.

Sharing today with The Wellspring and Seedlings In Stone

Soli Deo Gloria Sisterhood  and Hear It On Sunday, Use It On Monday

Faithfulness

You delight over me with singing

when I have no song

lifting my face to yours

inviting me to dance

reminding me 
that you are the music

and you have chosen me
as your bride

Breathing your life into mine

when I am breathless

renewed, I rise

gently leading me beside still waters

I am compelled to follow

Though my confession of faith

a mere pittance

widowed and poor

unworthy

you rejoice in my offering

accepted

cleansing me

clothing me

in garments

reserved for a prodigal

Patricia Spreng

Joining the Warrior Poet Circle at Connecting to Impact where the poetry prompt for today is “faithfulness.”

puzzled




"Forgiveness" Vatican Museum Rome, Italy

  Puzzled   

puzzle  pieces...

what  we  need

to understand the
broken heart

which  drives
the actions
choices
and  those  words

puzzle pieces...
what we need
to understand the fears
behind the tears
where cracks

and crevice start

the  pieces  will be  found

if  we listen  past  the  pain

to  fill  in  gaping holes

of   misunderstanding 

Peace
can  be  found
if  we surrender  all the pieces
that were never  meant  to  fit

His Peace 

fills  any hole

to make the picture

whole

©pat spreng